Feelings And A Thank You.

I felt the need to write a final reflection of my year and feelings. They say that the life of an exchange student is like a rollercoaster, you go up and you go down, just like in life in general. It’s kind of true, but I would add a blender to that. It’s such a crazy mixture of feelings that it’s not as simple as being happy/sad; sometimes you are happy and sad at the same time, but for different reasons. That is the most confusing part. I guess the reason why I’m talking about this right now is because that’s exactly the stage I’m in at this very moment. I cannot wait to get back home and see my amazing friends and family and their excitement makes me even more impatient. But at the same time it means that I’m leaving my other home. I’m leaving the life I have created within the past year and it’s tearing me apart. When I left Finland, I knew I was coming back and after all; year is not that long time. It was easier. Now I have all these memories from here, all the people I have met from New York, but also all the people I have met from all over the world. Some of them I might never see again. This time I’m going to leave and I have no clue when I’m coming back and for fact, it will never be the same again.

Even though this is a climax of those bittersweet feelings, they have always been there throughout the whole year. I’ve been happy over here, but I have missed people from home and all the ways around.

I’m sure it’s pretty much the same for all the exchange students. First they are excited yet scared to leave, then they get into the car of their host parents who are picking them up from the airport and they think, “What on earth did I just get myself into?” You try to be nice and polite, but at the same time you are so overwhelmed and freaking out. You are also excited and curious; the blend of feelings.

My personal goal was to get rid off my shyness, become friends with a lot of people, get to know my own values in life without the influence of the people I used to know, learn to see the world from a different perspective and develop as a person. I’m happy to say that I personally feel like I reached my goal. Many of you might think that my number one goal was learn more English, get an American accent, get to know the culture and get fat. Even though those are important factors, too (especially the ‘fat’ part), they weren’t the number ones on my list.

         

An exchange year will teach you a lot, it will teach you what it really means to be happy and what it really means to be sad, what it really means to be out of your comfort zone and what it really means to survive on your own. The year is all about making the right choices and let me tell you how much I hate making choices. I really truly deeply hate it with a passion. But that’s also what the ‘real life’ is all about too.

          

 I will never be able to bring out enough how blessed I was to meet all these people during my exchange. They really made my year with their amazing personalities and they also taught me a lot about myself. I made friends that I have known for less than a year now, but it seems like I have known them forever. Maybe I lied a little bit before saying that I survived the year completely on my own. I couldn’t have done it without all these people who supported me all the way to the end. These people really made me open up my heart. Now I’m sad mostly because I have to say goodbye to everybody (another thing that I hate with a passion), but then again, I would have missed so much if none of this happened to me. This is not a goodbye; it’s a ‘see you later’.

         

I also have to give a special thank you to the Rotary organization that made this happen, especially two amazing clubs; Pyynikin Rotaryklubi and the Utica Rotary club. These two clubs made such a huge effort to make this year happen just for me. I’m forever grateful and this year changed my life. I can’t imagine any other organization that could’ve done it better.

Thank you.

Finally by a beloved American writer Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”